The readings for Holy Week bring a chill as we listen. We hear Jesus speak of His most vulnerable pain. In the Gospel, we hear Him say at the Last Supper: “And yet behold, the hand of the one who is to betray me is with me on the table …” (Luke 22:21).
Jesus was betrayed. Betrayal speaks of treachery and infidelity of the willful and duplicitous attempt to destroy a friend. Betrayal is so ugly because an enemy cannot commit it. Only a trusted friend can come close enough to betray us.
Betrayal is the cruelest of life’s ingredients.
When were you betrayed? Do you speak about it? You might not, because betrayal’s poison not only destroys safe spaces but leaves the shrill, sharp and enduring lesson that no places are safe.
Betrayals, whether large or small, can haunt the heart and wound the soul. Betrayal casts off a piece of the soul into a painful orbit of secrecy and fear. If we do speak about when we were betrayed, it may be to construct a false safe place of excuses, self-blame, explanations or denial. These only deepen the hurt and deaden the soul.
If we do share the pain of a past betrayal, we might be told to simply “get over it” or “that’s life.” But you don’t and it’s not. Betrayal’s pain doesn’t age. Thirty years is the blink of an eye. Its pain does not have an expiration date. In fact, entrenched responses such as that only deepen the shame. They wreck, ruin and rewound.
Where do we go with our betrayals? We might go to a lot of places. Some people go to substances. Alcohol is the oldest medication known to man. Intoxication slowly accelerates past the pain but only deepening holes in the soul it pretends to fill.
Some people sink into activities and disappear for decades into workaholism and pleasing others. Or some others stare into a screen for years. The screen is the number one hiding place in the United States. Anything we want is a tap away at the tip of our fingers.
We can control anything on that screen, or so we think. But so often the internet and continuous channel surfing are roadmaps to deeper loneliness and isolation, of numbing muteness to feelings and daily life.
Some people let the pain do the talking. Gossip is simply the behind-the-back chatter that tries to repeatedly push someone else down so we can feel like we are on the rise. But these techniques disguised as remedies are just more numbing betrayals, tokens of cruel emotional commerce. They are more of the same.
Where do we go with our betrayals?
We must go to a truly safe and lasting place. Safe connection heals. Safety allows us to find our way through betrayal and patiently untangle the twistedness of countless maneuverings. While many good people can help us along the way, ultimately, Jesus is the only One who will understand. We need His supernatural grace to heal us.
Jesus knows. He knows what it is like to be betrayed. Judas, one of the Twelve Apostles, betrayed Jesus. And the other Apostles all deserted Him.
From the betrayal of friends, spouses, parents or our children – from the betrayal of coaches or mentors, of leaders and guides … Jesus knows those pains not from the outside like someone who has simply taken a quick tour. He knows our pain from the inside. This is Holy Week. Spend time with Jesus here at Church. Bring the hurt and the pain. He knows. His grace is waiting. We pray with Him and share our pain with Him, especially in these hours of His Passion during Holy Week. We have some key opportunities to be with Him this week:
The Mass of the Lord’s Supper takes place on Holy Thursday, April 2 at 7:00 p.m., with the Chapel of Our Lady open until 11:00 p.m.
The Commemoration of the Lord’s Sacred Passion is Good Friday, April 3 at 3:00 p.m. Stations of the Cross are at 6:30 p.m.
The Great Vigil of Easter Holy Saturday, April 4 is at 7:00 p.m.
Easter Sunday Masses are at 7:30 a.m., 9:00 a.m., 10:30 a.m. and Noon.
A blessed Holy Week –
Msgr. Brian Bransfield
Pastor
